Good morning everyone!
So today I decided to talk a little bit about my past and my struggle with my weight.
Growing up I was always on the bigger side. I think it is in my dad's genes a little bit. But in addition to genetics I just really loved food. What little kid doesn't? My metabolism wasn't fast and it was easy to put weight on. My dad tried to get me to lose weight starting at a young age- enrolling me in sports, run around the yard, and by trying to have me eat less. But as I got in middle school and high school I had more freedom and less supervision and my weight sky rocketed.
High school was when my weight really got out of control. I got into a relationship that was unhealthy, and emotionally abusive but I stayed in it for four years. During these four years I gained 50 pounds. I attribute it to the freedom I had when my friends and I got our licenses, and the emotional stress that I had. Eating simply made me feel a little better. I also stopped playing softball and rarely went to the gym because I didn't want to "waste my time" there. The boyfriend I had at the time encouraged my weight gain and so to keep him happy I stayed that way.
But the problem with that is that I wasn't happy. I hated my body and I hated myself for not doing things to change it. I felt conflicted between feeling good about myself and making my boyfriend feel good about me. So I tried to stay as invisible as possible to my high school. I wore very average boring clothes, didn't speak much, and tried my absolute hardest to simply go to school and then go home. I did not branch out unless I absolutely had to. I had a great group of friends so I stuck with them and they never judged me. There were a few bullies in school of course. People who made me feel even worse than I already did. But for the most part I was left alone and I liked it that way.
When I was 17 and graduating high school I weighed about 200 pounds.
I entered college at about that weight as well. I attend Framingham State University. No one ever said anything to me about my weight. But I wasn't invisible either. I was determined to change and be more outgoing and to join clubs and be a more confident person. I didn't know anyone at the school so I figured it would be a perfect new start. And I was right. I made a ton of great friends. And one girl, who became my best friend pretty quickly- Rachel, happened to be obsessed with fitness and was a nutrition major. With her help I started going to the gym and eating a lot better.
The boyfriend I had at the time didn't seem too pleased about me doing this but I had started to realize that our relationship wasn't healthy. January of my freshman year we broke up and my weightloss happened very quickly. I was at the gym 3-4 times a week and eating as best I could. I lost about 50 pounds and I felt great.
Over the next two years my weight fluctuated a little bit. I had gained some back over the summer when my friend wasn't around to motivate me. However this year I was really focused again. I just wanted to be the best version of me that I can be! So I really watched what I was eating when I was at school. My course load was extremely heavy so I didn't have the time to go to the gym but I was eating better than I had ever done before. Then I got home for the summer and I started attending a Pilates studio where I take Barre and Pilates classes. I am feeling much stronger, I am looking a lot skinnier, and I feel a lot healthier.
From my last physical to my most recent to trip to the doctor (a little under a year maybe?) I have lost 15 pounds. I am back at my lowest weight and I am happy. I don't think that I have ever looked better to be honest. Eating is still a main focus for me. I try to eat only when I'm hungry and to make healthy choices. But like Jillian Michaels says, you need to let yourself have a little ice cream or a cheeseburger once in a while. And I certainly make room for my treats! I just do it in moderation, which was always my struggle.
So now I continue to go to Barre & Pilates. I am in the market to do some cardio but haven't found the time in my schedule to implement it. But I have to say that I am very happy with who I am. I have started to love my body. And that alone is the best thing that I got out of doing this. I got confidence- something I never had. It is something that I plan on never losing.
So I am going to continue posting about my weight loss experience, my favorite treats, workouts, and other things that are going on. Thanks for reading!
Want to see another story like mine? Check out Mama Smith's weight loss journey as well!